Pandora’s Box
How many times do I have to write my angst on the wall before it goes away completely? I’ve felt resentful for the dispositions we drop into this realm with. I’m predisposed to debilitating sadness and a conscience that not only sees, but feels this deep suffering. I watch the universe act out every day. Meanwhile, someone else is predisposed to be so overly joyous that they can’t imagine the way I feel often on a daily basis. It’s a sick trick. A disgusting joke, and I am the motherfuckin’ punchline.
Like, what is wrong with me? What is this split of disconnection in my mind that feels like my neural connections are irreparably damaged? It’s not selfishness, it’s a lack of ego. A lack of importance I feel. I’m drowning in the internet. It’s like I forgot how to swim. I’ve had certifications in multimedia, enjoyed thousands of likes, and I’ve posted my art here for decades now. So why the fuck do I hate looking at social media so much?
I love the people I am looking at. I LOVE the people I am looking at. It’s you. It’s my friends, family, rivals, peers, and enemies. It’s the constant stream of news and atrocities happening across the world. It’s the fact that the people who own these platforms are mind-controlling us into rage, complacency, fear, and whatever else they can to divide the community. I didn’t always feel this way about our shared space. It changed when the creators of social media shifted into corporate interest and their own arrogant greed. There are more reasons I could ever fathom for their diabolical decisions.
But we are still posting, and I see that you see it’s bright. There are hopeful spaces, people connecting, lives being saved, and protests happening. But what the fuck has it accomplished really? It’s the same things everyday with new Fortnite skins on it. We are looking at Pandora’s box, and we are addicted to the phenomenon.
I know there are positives, but I don’t want to hear them. I want change. I want artists who get paid for expressing themselves. I don’t want the arts to be diluted by homogenous filth. I want protests to create change. I want something to be sacred to us as humans. We all seem to have drawn the line of decency at “don’t be a pedophile.” I’m relieved that we have a bar, even if it’s in the depths of the hells. Something people can agree on can bring us all together for the better. America has gotten to a point where journalists have to censor words that involve rapists, certain governments and countries, celebrities, internet groups, businesses, and more. Is that free press? Fuck NO. So why the fuck are we still on these apps?
